


a doctor and a philosopher walk into a bar

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D., The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Drinking & Talking, Gen, Humor, Philosophy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 11:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: House only considers talking to Chidi Anagonye because he's a) got a therapy assignment and b) the guy is a nerd-jock.





	a doctor and a philosopher walk into a bar

**Author's Note:**

> for the intoabar ficathon.
> 
> set around season 3 for the good place & season 6 for house md.
> 
> enjoy!

For a matter of fact, House isn”t at the bar for any of his usual reasons.

It's not because he's trying to get away from his life or his pain, or because he wants to get shitfaced like he does from time to time. No, no. It's just because of a therapy assignments.

Dr. Nolan has never been a fan of being normal about his assignments or the way he goes about therapy. Maybe it's because House isn't a normal person in need of therapy (although, is anyone needing therapy normal?). But, well, he'd said for him to go to the bar, drink moderately and most importantly for him to talk to people. Which is, undoubtedly, one of the hardest things to do at a bar.

He looks around as he takes careful sips from his glass of scotch. It's the same stock photo of people at a bar, over and over and over— they're all of various ages, various races, talking and drinking. There's nothing special about any of them. Some people function better by lurking on the edges of the establishment, and that's what they do, gripping beer cans tight and pulling faces at any attempt at interaction from someone else. They're the closest group to something that House can relate to.

Then there's the man walking up to him. House bites back a groan. As much as he'd accepted the assignment, he's not really into the idea of actually fulfilling it. He's already been toying with the idea of telling Nolan about the passionate love affair he had with a one-night stand at the bar, even though he would catch him on the lie pretty quick. Nolan  _ knows  _ him like that— it’s pretty bothersome, if you ask him, to have people know you like that (especially when those people aren’t Wilson.)

"Dr. House!" a young man exclaims. He's wearing a button-up with some simple coffee-brown trousers and thick-rimmed glasses, but it doesn't properly hide the fact he's got muscles underneath his shirt. A jock of a nerd, huh? Like some weird high school stereotype breed. House  _ could  _ consider talking to this man. Possibly. "I'm visiting Jersey for a bit, I didn't think I would, ah, see you— a friend of a friend was taken care of by your team."

If a friend of a friend has been treated by his team, surely he knows he's an ass. Why is he talking to him?

"Hey," he says, his gaze not softening whatsoever. "I'm glad to hear I saved a friend of a friend's life. What's your name?"

The man smiles at him and fixes his glasses. "Oh, I'm Chidi Anagonye, Dr. House."

The name rings a vague bell he can't pinpoint for the life of him. He sucks in a breath and his brows furrow as he tries to come up with an answer as to why. He has never seen this man before, so why does his name sound like he should know who he is? 

Meanwhile, Chidi sits down next to him, respectful space in between them. He puts his glass of wine down and asks for it to be refilled.

"What do you do for a living?" he asks him.

Chidi lights up a little at the question, his brown eyes glowing. "Oh, I'm a philosophy professor."

Well, that explains it. Perhaps Wilson had attempted to show House some conference or talk this guy gave before House cussed him out for even daring to show him some philosophical bullshit. It's not that he doesn't like thinking about morals, but he doesn't like thinking about morals.

"Ah," he says. "Your name rang a bell, so that's why I asked."

Chidi smiles at him nervously, fiddling with his hands. "Oh, really? What did you recognize me from? My  _ What We Owe To Each Other  _ talk at Oxford—?"

He promptly falls silent when House groans. "My friend tried to show me that talk. But I'm not big on philosophy, really. All that talk about the universe and what humans are good for, and empathy and, all that. Hits right into me snoozing off."

Chidi doesn't look offended in the least. "Ah, yeah. I guess that adds up with what I've heard about you."

"I suppose there's a lot you’ve heard about me from your friend’s friend." His reputation is well-maintained, anyhow.

"She only talked to you twice," Chidi says. "She said that was enough to know what kind of, ah, what kind of person you are."

House sighs and gives him a shrug. He's not sure if he wants to open up to a philosophy professor about the fact he's been trying to be better. Which is already a little frightening when it's Dr. Greg House, but when it's with therapy and detoxing, even more so.

"I've been trying to be better about, well," he starts, waving his hand around vaguely. "Everything. People skills. The works."

"Perhaps my talk would help you?" Chidi offers quietly.

"I've already got a therapist, I don't need a three-hour conference, too."

He looks at his fingernails intently at that comment. "I suppose so. Good luck with therapy."

"Thanks," he says icily, finishing his drink.

Chidi clears his throat. "Well, I've got to go," he says. "We had a, well, a detour from Florida to here and now we're going to Arizona. Me and my friends, I mean. Can I tell you something, though?"

"Sure," House says, shrugging. He's not up to hear whatever 'wisdom' this guy is about to impart on him, but he doesn't have much of a choice on it.

"You need to try and be a better person," Chidi says heavily, with a security that throws House off. A confidence unlike the man he just talked to for a bit. "You need to be better to go to, well, sort-of-Heaven. It's not exactly it. Your career will help you get there, yes, but how you act won't help you." He smiles at him as House stares at him as if he's grown a second head. "Be better, Dr. House. Now I've got to get going. See you on the next life."

House stares at him as he leaves through the crowd on the bar.

As he grabs his glass once again, he sighs. "This is why everyone hates philosophy professors."


End file.
